A part of probation requires I say To all of you good people here This story I sing I did a dumb thing With a horse, a lance and a beer. Whatever you do don't drink and joust Just put down that pole no matter how soused. If you've had too many go home and here's why The last thing you need is a J-U-I I only remember the pain in my ass The feeling that something went wrong The tower's not nice - I've been there twice So for you I'm singing this song. () So lay down the wood and go sleep it off Lay down for the night in your bunk Don't get on that horse who's the squire of course Friends don't let friends joust drunk.