Dear deer I am writing you a letter In the hopes that you'll know better Not to go in the woods in Pennsylvania 'Cause my dad's in a tree waiting to kill ya Just be warned Some say Dream until tomorrow That I'll wash away your sorrow But I'm telling you to not sleep with your eyes closed If you do you'll end up sitting in a potroast It's not fair Some say Pennsylvania's sunny But I prefer to say it's gunny Okay maybe that's not funny But either way it's way too punny I know Okay Dear deer New Jersey just might suit you Because there they cannot shoot you But the exit signs and turnpikes are just not fun But better than a man holding a shotgun Don't you think? I'm just writing to remind you That an orange man will find you And sneak up right behind you To seal the fate that's been assigned to you Just know That your population is stringy And the Pennsylvania thinking is just backwards It'll leave you cold and melted on a placard It's not fair Deer I hope that you can hear me 'Cause I think of you so dearly So I'll write each sentence clearly And I'll sign it with sincerely, K-A-T-E