Helmet hair, i'm debonnaire I'm not afraid to cry to my car Kit Devon Miles, my brother Garth (EVIL) Best damn TV acting since Joyce De Witt Cruise the beach, make em screech Hope that they don't notice my crows feet Suck in the gut, and pout and strut A locker without my poster is incomplete Feelin' more like Dave Hasselhoff every day Feelin' more like Dave Hasselhoff every day Love to croon, set the chicks a swoon Big in Denmark, and in your town soon The chest hair's moussed, the butt is goosed The Nielsen's are down, hit the turbo boost The bay is watched, the line are botched, the screen is filled with my bulging crotch