There's a rumor going 'round Toyland
It's about Noddy the dirty little man
They say he done a dirty by lifting up his shirty
With Big Ears and the rest of his gang
There was only [unverified] stuck up Noddy's arsehole
And for a penny a piece you know they liked his crease
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Big Ears was in front
But he couldn't get his cunt
Well, his ears were big as [unverified]
But his penis never grew
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
The next in line to fuck
Was little Porky Pig
But Noddy made the piggy noises
After what he did
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Rupert Bear was there
With his mass of pubic hair
And Rupert Bear, he didn't care
He came in Noddy's hair
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well [unverified]
'Cause he said it was obscene
So he greased up his truncheon
And stuck it up his arsehole, arsehole, arsehole
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
After everyone was done
And they'd had a lot of fun
Noddy's hat was red but
His dad was sucking his thumb
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, the moral of this song
To you dirty little boys
Charge 10p or more
Be a high-class whore
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Noddy
You know what my mother told me
You sold your arsehole
At the Elephant and Castle
Noddy, you dirty little bastard
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Noddy, you dirty little bastard