There is a pub In tumbridge wells Where the landlord is A wanker Yes he has a girl She dont notice me And i dont understand what she sees in him No i dont understand what she sees in him Cause hes a wanker The landlord is a fuckin wanker The landlord is a fuckin wanker The landlord is a wanker She looks good But she dont like me She thinks im rather dirty And ugly She is nice Oh whats she doing with him If she was my girl Id give her what for I dont understand What she sees in him Cause hes a wanker The landlord is a fuckin wanker The landlord is a fucking wanker The landlord is a fucking wanker What a cunt! But hes a wanker The landlord is a fucking wanker x14 Hes also a fucking cunt!