Well, I was raised on a diet of no-doz
Donuts, an' diesel emissions
Listenin' to wrinkled old men dronin' on and on
About the weather and road conditions
Stayin five miles ahead of whatever's behind
Wonderin' where I went wrong
And the strange city signs
Start to sound like rhymes
In a neverending song
Just a one-horse town
No motel or bar
Just a wax museum
Of dead hee-haw stars
You don't look in a mirror
When you're hard and mean
I'm stranded outside tater knob
With just a juggs magazine
Well, I was sittin' inside a topless joint
At the end of music row
Watchin' fat girls strip to Molly Hatchett songs
Hopin' their stretch marks don't show
I spent my last dime on a watered-down drink
I was headed out for the door
Before I could kick myself for going' here
I was headed back for more
Just a one-horse town
No motel or bar
Just a wax museum
Of dead hee-haw stars
You don't look in a mirror
When you're hard and mean
I'm stranded outside tater knob
With just a juggs magazine
My ex-wife ran a whorehouse
On the highway out of town
They used to give special truckers' rates
Before the baptists burned it down
She had a tattoo on her inner thigh
Said "if you can read this, yer too close"
We used to drive five miles for the nearest cold beer
And bitch about the lives we chose
Just a one-horse town
No motel or bar
Just a wax museum
Of dead hee-haw stars
Don't look in a mirror
When you're hard and mean
Well, I'm stranded outside tater knob
With just a juggs magazine
Well, I'm stranded outside tater knob
With just a juggs magazine