At seven this mornin' I got on the phone
And said to hold my Bronc as long as you can
My car broke down in Billings and they just got it put back together
I'll be photo finishing in to old Cheyenne
Well, here I am in Sheridan and it's nine o'clock
In the morning, and time's going fast
I just pulled her over, had some coffee and a doughnut
And I bought the car a brand new tank of gas
Well, I don't know if I'm gonna make it, it's 9:15
I'll be lucky if I ever get there
By God, now what's that I hear? Is it a siren?
Sure enough he got me on his radar
He pulled up behind me and turned on those flashing lights
A sign that I knew meant pull her over
So I stomped on my brakes and as I skidded to a halt
I wiped out three reflector posts along the shoulder
He got out of his car and was walking real slow
So I jumped out and met him halfway
He jerked out his gun and said, "Mister, are you crazy?
I ain't never seen nobody drive that way"
I told him to take it easy and he could put up that cannon
The way he was shaking, it just might go off
He put up the gun as I explained my situation
He listened to my story, then he coughed
He wrote me out a ticket, that seemed to take forever
I took it and as I headed for my car
That cop, he hollered after me and said, "Hey, cowboy
You better slow down 'cause you can not run this radar"
As I rolled on down the road, I was a cursin' and a swearin'
About the ticket that I had just acquired
I wondered if I ought to pay it or throw it out the window
But I might just set the damn thing afire
So I gunned it once again and was traveling down the road
With the gas pedal mashed to the floor
When I came around a curve and right there in the highway
There was more damn sheep than I've ever seen before
I'm going too fast to ever stop, so I just close my eyes
As the car roars on through the herd
When I opened up my eyes again, there's a sheep on the fender
And that herder saying some mighty awful words
The sweats dripping off my hands as I barrel through old Wheatland
I'm a nervous wreck and I must be out of sight
The flies inside this old car are buzzing all around me
Guess my 24-hour deodorant quit last night
60, 50, 40, 30, 20 miles more
The rodeo starts in another 18 minutes
I pull in through the main gate and I hear the anthem playing
I can't believe it, thank God I finally made it
There's only one more obstacle that's standing in my way
It's a nitwit with a weekend badge
He's standing by the gate and as I slide her to a halt
He says, "Where in the hell you going so doggone fast?"
I tell him I'm entered and I ain't got time to talk
My horse is in the chute and I'm late
He says I need to get a pass from the secretary
My eyes get red, my heart fills up with hate
I yell you dirty so and so, you'd better let me through
He asked if I'd repeat that once again
So I whacked him in the mouth and a left him lying there
On his back kicking in the sand
I got there just in time to see my bronc come running out
His head and tail was held way up high
I swear he looked right straight at me and grinned and gave horse laugh
And me, I just stood there and cried
I turned around feeling helpless and fairly dumbfounded
I looked and what did I see
Three highway patrolmen and a gateman with a fat lip
And they were all looking right at me
Sitting in the cell now I've done a lot of thinking
About that wild run I made a month ago
I'm sorry that I'm in this rotten situation
If I could do it again, I wouldn't have drove so slow
If I could do it again, I wouldn't have drove so slow