And I can't become my father
When it's all been said and done.
His completions won't complete me.
I've divided me by one.
I'm the answer to his riddle.
I'm the caution of his wind.
I'm the spoon wedged between
Tongue and teeth beneath his trembling grin.
And I dare add my revision
For I dare not suffer twice.
And I dare not re-invent the past.
And I dare not be the Christ.
And I welcome any sufferer.
And I welcome any Saul,
Sitting in this room on wooden
Bench waiting for Joi to call.
And I suffer here alone, Lord,
Perturbed by my every thought.
How I've tried to strip them to the bone,
I've struggled and I fought.
Every jealous, warped intention,
Smuggled, sewn into my genes.
Every hidden mongrel tendency exploiting me in me.
Each time I put them under
But still they wanna test me!
I cry out through the thunder
You storm right past me!
I search and I ponder.
I question and wonder.
I roar and I thunder.
Please let me in.
I've been waiting here for what
Now seem the better of an hour.
I've raised every crippled question
From the dead and given power
To the abscense of my sanity.
The presence of a fear
That lies in between forgotten dreams
That pile up every year.
Up above your highest testaments,
Down below the wooden floor,
There's a gutted room,
Pitch black at noon,
Beneath a hidden door.
Deep within you'll find the attributes
Of every sunken man
Who must bang his head against the dead
Each day he tries to stand.
And he's standing pressed against the very woman
That he loves.
Kissing eyes and lips,
Embracing hips,
Surrendering to her touch
And just at the very moment
That he touches heart to heart,
She pulls from his touch,
'Cause it's too much to mend what's torn apart...
Each time I put them under
But still they wanna test me!
I cry out through the thunder
You storm right past me!
I search and I ponder.
I question and wonder.
I roar and I thunder.
Please let me in.
It's so hard to be
The man I would be
If hatred and fear no
Longer appeared.
I swear, I've become
The skin of a drum,
The heart of a man.
Divided I stand.