I don't wanna join the Air Force I don't wanna go to war I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground And living on the earnings of a high-class lady I don't want an Aphid up me arsehole I don't want my bollocks shot away I'd rather be in England In merry, merry England And fornicate my fuckin' life away Gor blimey Monday I rubbed her on the ankle Tuesday I touched her on the knee On Wednesday I confess, I lifted up her dress On Thursday, I saw it, gor blimey Friday I put my hand upon it On Saturday she gave my balls a tweak On Sunday after supper I ran the ol' boy up her And now she earns me seven quid a week Oh! I don't wanna join the Air Force I don't wanna go to war I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground And living on the earnings of a high-class lady I don't want an Aphid up me arsehole I don't want my bollocks shot away I'd rather be in England In merry, merry England And fornicate my fuckin' life away Hm (What are bollocks?) I dunno. I'm not sure what bollocks are. What are quid? Ohhh, arse (Arse, I'm pretty sure I know what an arse is) I know, but they gotta fuckin' say it right (Yeah) Damn Brits Let's Am-- we gotta Americanize this shit (Alright, let's do it) OK I don't wanna join the Air Force I don't wanna go to war I'd rather just get by Smokin' dope and getting high And living on the earnings of a tax-free annuity I don't want an Archer up my asshole I don't want my balls shot away I'd rather be in Vegas In dirty fuckin' Vegas And fornicate my fuckin' life away Hell yeah! Monday I never flew a sortie Tuesday I did my IDE On Wednesday I confess, I was at my master's class On Thursday, five more safety briefings Friday, a seven-hour standup On Saturday they said no cross-country On Sunday I said "Fuck it" And told them they could suck it And now I'm earnin' seven g's a week at Lockheed I don't wanna join the Air Force I don't wanna go to war I'd rather just get by Smokin' dope and gettin' high And living on the earnings of a tax-free annuity I don't want an Archer up my asshole I don't want my balls shot away I'd rather be in Vegas In dirty fuckin' Vegas And fornicate my fuckin' life away