I went on a date She was such a beautiful girl I knew right away that she could be my whole world But my hopes went away When she took off and said "I'll never call you again" So here's some tips for you To know if she's into you Just so that you understand If she leaves the table while you're talking That probably means She's not interested She's not interested If she shows you pictures of her boyfriend That surely means She's not interested She's not interested If she tells you that you're looking so good When you know she's blind She's not interested She's not interested If she breaks up with you Before you even ask her out She's not interested She's not interested This date was so sad It belongs in a graveyard (easily forgotten) She just went away and let me pay the bill afterwards (It was an expensive bill, too) I don't know what I did wrong So there's no point in this song I don't know where to begin (Where to begin) I am teaching you things Even though I know nothing (But still, here are some more suggestions) If she tells you that you're such a great friend That probably means She's not interested She's not interested If she sets you up with her gay friend That surely means She's not interested She's not interested If she brings her kids along Knowing that you're infertile She's not interested She's not interested If she jerks off another guy Looking you straight in the eyes She's not interested She's not interested ♪ Well, I hope this will help you for your future dates Most of these things are not really obvious anyways So it's about time someone finally pointed them out Thank me later But for now, let me give you some more tips And here they come If she sits at another table Pretending she doesn't know you She's not interested She's not interested If she pretends to be deaf But still answers the waiter She's not interested (hello) She's not interested (hello) If she invents teleportation Just to get out of here She's not interested She's not interested If she marries your father And tells you to clean your room (wait, what?) She is your mother She is your mother