Mardi Gras came and went All my money has been spent How am I gonna pay the rent Sitting on my ass? (Face) Who mistook the steak for chicken? Who am I gonna stick my dick in? We're not those kids Sitting on the couch My former life, I was a high roller (my former life, I had a sister) Walked my kids in a diamond stroller (I abused her and I dissed her) Found my calling as a part-time bowler (she got swept up in a twister) Traded my wife in for a new three holer (first I laughed, and then I missed her) Who mistook these baths for showers? Who fucked up that Leaning Tower? We're not those kids Sitting on the couch Oh, get on a Greyhound and ride away Live on birthday cake each day (different dreams than yesterday) Tell your grandparents that they're gay (tell your grandma, you're okay) Steal their money and run away (kiss her cheek and run away) 'Cause me and my friends are so smart We invented this new kind of art (we invented this new kind of dart) Post-Modernest Throwing Darts (hit a bullseye, cut a fart) Smoking crack and cutting crack Who mistook this crap for genius? (I am dancing on the ceiling) Who is gonna stroke my penis? (Who is gonna hurt my feelings?) We're not those kids Sitting on the couch Oh, people are shiny like a brand-new book (even your mother is a crook) But if you get a closer look There's shit on every hand you shook (there's shit on every road you took) If you don't believe me, look at your hand (if you don't believe me, read the book) Who made all these things for killing? (Somebody's making a killing) Whose pussy hole needs filling? (Whose empty heart needs filling?) We're not those kids Sitting on the couch Who mistook the steak for chicken? (Who am I gonna stick my dick in?) We're not those kids Sitting on the couch Sitting on the couch Sitting on the couch Sitting on the couch