I was around when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and faith And I made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands, and sealed his fate Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game I stuck around St. Petersburg, When I saw it was time for a change I killed the Czar and his ministers Anastasia screamed in vain I rode a tank, held a General's rank When the Blitzkrieg raged, And the bodies stank Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game I watched with glee while your kings and queens Fought for ten decades, for the God they made I Shouted out "Who killed the Kennedys?" When after all... it was you and me Let me please introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste And I lay traps for troubadours Who get killed before they reach Bombay Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game Just as every cop is a criminal And all the sinners saints As head is tail, just call me Lucifer 'Cause I'm in need of some restraint! So if you meet me, have some courtesy Have some sympathy, and some taste Use all your well-learned politics Or I'll lay your soul to waste!