Flip a coin until the thumbnail is rubbed away
Telling myself there is more to life than these heads or tails outcomes
Said meditate to find inner peace
Pace a perfect circle as blood and pain leave
Learning and ignoring the agony of an empty bed
Slept in the jarring silence
It's a shame how this is secretly weighted
Playing near the trap of inversion
Heads you lose
Tails you win
This is how it's supposed to be
The only way it could ever exist
Heads you win
Tails you lose
It all comes up blank
I swallow what must be hidden hoping assimilation makes me whole
The whole that everyone thinks I am
Smiling under this mask knowing I'm not hiding my face in public
It all comes up blank
I can't be your bastion of sanity