Sitting on a barstool in the middle of the afternoon I'm pondering existence and exactly what it was you said to me My bottle holds no answers so I tell the man I'd like ask another one This one too is of no help to me so I kill it, pay, and then I leave I cross the street against the light And interrupt the bustle of the boulevard And I pass a bum with upturned palm Who amazingly appears worse off than me His pleas are met with ignorance by Many of the passersby this afternoon So I give him all of my pocket change and earn his eternal gratitude Woah 'cause life has got him firmly by the short and curlies So I turn the corner up the block And come upon a woman, who you could say I've known before Well her name has been Candi, and Sunni I think this time I'll call her Crystal Well she asks me if I'd like to see a trick or two I say "Yes" because magic excites me greatly, don't you know A nearby man walks up to us and arrests us It's her third of time today Woah 'cause life has got her firmly by the short and curlies I'm sitting in my jail cell a little late on in the afternoon I'm listening to this jackass who's telling me The vital part his family played the in taming of the new world Oh I grab him by the throat and push him up against the wall and say "Man I'm not having a very nice day!" He said ten words to me Those are ten words that I will never forget No I'll never forget He said, "Life has got us firmly by the short and curlies." And it hurts, sometime hurts, ow Woah life has got me firmly by the short and curlies Yeah life has got me firmly by the short and curlies Woah life has got me firmly by the short and curlies