We were all in the pub
And our fortunes were down
We've nothing at all
Not the smell of a pound
Then Malachy says
In the U-S-of-A
There's Yanks wantin' bodhrans and willing to pay
If it's money you're after, here's how to get some:
Just take an old goat
Make it into a drum
There's a rare herd of goats in the Waterford hills
If we stole one or two, we could pay off our bills
We sealed the bargain and called for a round
A round
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
Now of course the best volund for the hatching of crime
Is over a pint just before closing time
'Cause we always remember each word that's been said
When we're trolly, do-lolly, and out of our heads
So made bold by the beer, with our hearts all a-flame
We made haste for the hills, seeking fortune and fame
Well this was the caper to answer our prayers
Sure thanks to the bodhran we'd be billionaires!
We were villains and rogues of prestige and renown
Renown
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
But it wasn't too long 'til the plot went awry
We were stung when the goats didn't want to comply
They wouldn't go willingly down the old track
Until Barry jumped onto the biggest one's back
With a yippee ki-yay, and a yippee ki-yo
He took off at a gallop with the others in tow
We herded them, sure enough, into the truck
But the beasts started lipping, and running amok
Well they kicked poor old Malachy, and started to chew
Straight through his trousers and ate up his shoes
What a pitiful sight, when we got to the docks
We were bleeding, and bruised, from our hats to our socks
We were villains and rogues of prestige and renown
Renown
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
But there's one thing we didn't yet know about goats
They don't much like lorries, but they really hate boats
For once we'd cast off, hour into the tide
They butted poor Barry right over the side
They bleated and bucked, and they smashed all the oars
Put horns through the rigging and hooves through the floors
We were bailing like hell as the water rushed in
Then the goats jumped the ship- who knew they could swim?!
So they sped out to sea through the waves and the foam
And left us to struggle back to shore on our own
And so when that ended, this venture so bold
The tale of our legend would never be told
We've no money, no fortune, no fame or renown
Renown
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
And when once in awhile, the old fishermen say
They're still catching goats in their nets to this day
And they're making top-dollar, or so tell the tales
Selling water-proof bodhrans to tourists in Wales
We were villains and rogues of prestige and renown
Renown
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town
We're the Rustling Goat Gang of Waterford Town