The stupid
The foolish
The truest of the 10th grade
Caught up in the forest of fear
Sleeping in a coffin doesn't mean he's stiff and dead
Only that he's needing a beer
Rummage through his coffin now
Waking up a lord of death
Party in a pit of hell
The undying and the edgy have a meeting in the grave
(It's a party you're invited, come on down into the cave)
(Well well well
It seems this group of misfits have entered my domain
It is here that they wish to photograph themselves leather-clad with medieval weapons?
And... is that a goddamn goat?)
A thousand years of death in the castle high above
Raging in the underworld but far from being dead
A goblet full of blood will return him to his sleep
Cursing his name as your fluids start to seep
Moshing with the villain you cannot hope to kill
Glowing yellow eyes, a cloak with tattered frills
Pale white skin and a pair of white fangs
He's here to party to you dying, heads will fucking bang
(Hey Mr. Vampire dude
Could you like
Play a rad solo for us?)
(Why sure!)
You made a bad decision when you took your shitty metal band into a castle full of the dead
But now you've gotta show us you're the truest
The rudest
Your mother's makeup slathered on your sloppy head
I wonder if the count will hate you just as much as you relate to neckbeards with Metallum cred (God you suck)
(To all foolish mortals
Who believe they can just waltz into my humble manor
And use my tombstone
To pose for their shitty black metal band
And argue about who can hold my candelabra
You've got another thing coming)