My knuckles bloody from the shattered glass Just finished smashing every mirror I have I hate the new me, that left the old me in the past Tonight, I write these words like they could be my last Always had the last of everything, except for laughs Never drew a crowd's reaction, except for gasps Kept my true emotions hidden safe behind a mask But if you've never been an outcast, it's hard to grasp I remember them putting me down Wish I could tell them to look at me now But look at me how? When I can't even look at myself, wow Curtains close before I can bow Straight face gives way to a frown My psychiatrist tells me that it'll all come around But between she and I, I think I'd rather drown 'Cause I'm sick and tired of breathing the same air And I'm sick and tired of screaming, "This ain't fair" And I'm sick and tired of friends who just ain't there And I'm sick and tired of I'm just sick and tired I'm questioning everything Gotta problem with me, you better swing You're my biggest fan? You better sing Reality, yeah, you bet I'm king Of absolutely nothing How does it feel to be a lost cause? I'm thinking out loud if you're wondering So loud, my eardrum's thundering So how does it feel? I can't say, I really can't say 'Cause that's the only way that I've ever felt And how could I ever feel like anybody other than myself Yes, I change, but not for the better I die a little more everyday, forever I've heard of the sun, but have I seen it? Never Grey skies and rain have been my only weather My memory lane is many miles long My pain is ever-present and my smile's long gone Before you criticize, remember this is my song And I wrote it for myself Internal dialogues