I went to the library to have a look
I thought about renting out a book
So, I asked the little man about signing up
He said "You're talking too loud, and you better shut up."
I said "This is outrageous, I've been coming for ages,
Don't you know who I am? I've been paying your wages
You better pipe down or you'll rattle my cages,
I'll tear up your book, and I'll shit in the pages!
With all of your wisdom, you're getting me pissed, man.
I got no love for Dewey's Decimal System!
I'm not coming back anytime soon,
I'll just buy my own copy of Twilight New Moon!
Fuck you, I've got dreams, motherfucker.
Fuck you and the seams, motherfucker,
Fuck you and your things, motherfucker.
Motherfucker, got wings!
I went for a swim in the swimming pool,
I took one fucking look at the list of rules.
There's a sign this long saying "Play it cool
Or I'm kicking you out, 'cause you're a fucking fool.
No fucking diving,
No fucking running,
No heavy petting,
No fucking bombing,
No fucking splashing,
No swimming with kids.
It's all do what I say, don't do what I did.
Why are you trying to make my life hard,
You should change your profession to get to lifeguard!
Wash my feet before I get in the bath,
You better wash my dick 'cause you're havin' a laugh!
Fuck you, I've got dreams, motherfucker.
Fuck you and the seams, motherfucker,
Fuck you and your things, motherfucker.
Motherfucker, got wings!
Gonna feed the dogs,
Gonna feed the cats,
Gonna feed frogs,
Gonna feed the bats,
Gonna feed the goats,
Gonna feed the oxes,
Gonna feed the stoats,
Gonna feed the foxes.
Gonna feed the cows,
Gonna feed the monkeys,
Gonna feed the snails,
Gonna feed the donkeys,
Gonna feed all the pets in the petting zoo!
Fuck you, motherfucker, motherfucker, fuck you!
Fuck you, I've got dreams, motherfucker.
Fuck you and the seams, motherfucker,
Fuck you and your things, motherfucker.
Motherfucker, got wings!
My phone's cutting out!
Fuck you, motherfucker!
My broadband is slow!
Fuck you, motherfucker!
The Quiet Coach,
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Exact change on bus,
Fuck you, motherfucker!
People that hum,
Fuck you, motherfucker!
People that smell,
Fuck you, motherfucker!
People annoying in general,
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Magicians!
Elbows off the table and eat with your mouth shut,
Smoke the whole thing and dispose of your fag,
But I'm not eating greens, I'm starting with pudding,
I only watch films Val Kilmer is good in!
Fuck you, I've got dreams, motherfucker.
Fuck you and the seams, motherfucker,
Fuck you and your things, motherfucker.
Motherfucker, got wings!