Ah, yeah I'm the vegetable man I don't agree with a thing 'Cause I'm the vegetable man I pawn my high school ring I think that Clinton's a crook I think that politics stinks I haven't read any books Don't care what anyone thinks 'Cause I'm the vegetable man Yes, I'm the vegetable man See my apartment Feel my disease Fondle my carrot And give it a squeeze Forgive my potatoes Pardon my peas 'Cause I'm the vegetable man I'm the vegetable man My dad was a worker My mom was his wife And it was millions of taxes That spoiled their life I think that something is brewing That's why I'm kicking the dog Got a whiff of the future But I might be wrong 'Cause I'm the vegetable man I grow through vines and pods 'Cause I'm the vegetable man I sell my seeds to the gods 'Cause I'm the vegetable man Ah, vegetable man See my apartment Feel my disease Fondle my carrot And give it a squeeze Forgive my potatoes Pardon my peas 'Cause I'm the vegetable man You don't know me And I'm damn sure I don't know you Doesn't matter who you think I am I am a dream, but I'm real And I can really, really, squeal 'Cause I'm the succulent vegetable man I'll take you higher than you've been without ... drugs It's in my music, you can feel it in my words I know you're looking for a hero But your luck is battling zero 'Cause the music now is mainly for the birds Who can you turn to? Where can you run? I'll set your head straight And enlighten your feelings The vegetable man Is having all the fun And I'll be glad to tell you what to feel 'Cause I'm the vegetable man I grow through vines and pods 'Cause I'm the vegetable man I sell my seeds to the gods 'Cause I'm the vegetable man Yes, I'm the vegetable man Take it, Bucky! Rockin'! Summer squash Hot house cucumbers Ah, yeah! See my apartment Feel my disease Fondle my carrot And give it a squeeze Forgive my potatoes Pardon my peas 'Cause I'm the vegetable man I'm the vegetable man I'm the vegetable man I'm the vegetable man Woah, oh, vegetable man Hey, hey, hey, vegetable man I think that Clinton's a crook I think that politics stinks I haven't read any books Don't care what anyone thinks I'm the vegetable man Yes, I'm the vegetable man Ve-e-egetable man Ve-e-egetable man Eat your vegetables, Johnny! Clean your plate, you little prick!