The only thing that's holding me back
Is a stack of past failures building walls that I can see past
Like... Kick the bricks out and put a window in it
That way they can see that I ain't leaving til this shit is finished
Spinning on a figure eight until I'm deathly dizzy
I wish I wasn't up so late, but simply rest forbids me
I know I don't communicate, but I'm just stressed and busy
Tryng to scrape a stomach pit to see how much the flesh can give me
Exhausting... turning and I'm tossing
Taunted by this overlooking eye that's always watching
I wonder if we're ever all alone or even free?
Or is there something out in plain sight that I can't seem to see?
It doesn't even matter when I barricade my body in a cave
Til I'm calmer than the center of a storm that doesn't fade
My favorite thing to do is lock myself inside a living room
And listen to the silence speak in volumes til I get in tune
And this is what I do when I'm (By Myself)
Everything to gain, I got nothing left to lose cause I'm (By Myself)
I write the night away until the sky is blue when I'm (By Myself
I'm happy as can be, don't get it confused, man I'm (By Myself)
I'm in my own world... And it's tight
Now when I'm outside, I feel so insignificant
So I just close the curtains and I peak out if I'm interested
Isn't it miraculous how much that I can get done
If I just stay away from shadows forming from a lit sun?
Controlled climate, no rain, sleet or snow
Just lukewarm and dingy for as long as I can go
It's looking like a dungeon, but it feels more like a paradise
I might just make a masterpiece, I feel it in the air tonight
So I continue digging... Until I discover the shiny gem
I've been searching for for... shit I just realized how long it's been
On the same couch, writing to the same beat
Sifting through the several languages in which my brain speaks
But if I listen to it long enough, I'll understand it
If I ignore it, then it might be permanently damaged
That's why I'm clearing out my schedule for as long as it takes
And it might just be a month or two before I leave my place...
But this is what I do when I'm (By Myself)
Everything to gain, I got nothing left to lose cause I'm (By Myself)
I write the night away until the sky is blue when I'm (By Myself)
I'm happy as can be, don't get it confused, man I'm (By Myself)
I'm in my own world... And it's tight
I'm bout to do something amazing, maybe make myself a millionaire
Maybe take the nothing that I've always been and build from there
Been aware of where I'm at and where I'm trying to go from here
But talking to myself has been the staple of my whole career
I fear death like it's standing on my doorstep
Knocking like it's opportunity, but I got more breath
More blood to pump through the veins before I dry up
And take away the nausea that circulates in my guts
Til I'm dust, I'll get dirty on these beats though
Plant it, let it die, or water it until the seeds grow
Way too many snakes now, that's why the grass, I keep low
But even in the desert, they can rattle out from each stone
It's been a wonderful experience
Show me who you are and we can get past the appearances
Way beyond lyrics, so don't label me a lyricist
Building up another wonder, right next to the pyramids
Spitting Stonehenges with eyes like Medusa
Looking long term, no time for minutia
We'll get there in a minute, even if it takes a lifetime
Pocket full of lemons painted green to make the light lime
Lurking through the shadows, I'm cozy in my cave
My friends getting worried, asking me if I'm okay
And honestly, I'm not sure how to even respond
Because everywhere I go, I feel I'm frequently gone
I'm gripping sanity like I'm tight rope walking on some dental floss
Right above Niagara Falls, knowing that I'm slipping off
It's kinda sketchy if you ask me
Might just jump off of it so I can start relaxing
One day I'm like yo, we bout to blow, let's get it cracking
The next day, I'm a zombie on the verge of just collapsing
But today, I'm in between the two, balanced on a beam
That was put so cleverly between reality and dream
And I'm focused on the ladder that's been dangling for years
Choking out the doubt while I'm strangling my fears
Like... you ain't shit