I'm driving down the highway Headed to the range Gonna knock 'em out stong But I'm feeling no pain Got an old brown bag Big stick in the back Where the grass don't grow Gonna take a few hacks There's a place for you if you're just like me Armchair greens chillin at the TV Have another cool one But it won't hurt Got myself a big stick Swingin in the dirt Got a two bit job With a little bit of pay But I feel no pressure Couple lessons today Working on the swing And talkin' trash Take another good hit Try to make it last There's a place for you If you're just like me Armchair boys yelling at the TV Twenty points in a row I'm getting shirts Got myself a big stick swingin' in the dirt Bet a five dollar nasaw And all you got's two Well a five foot gimme Make a man out of you Well I got my dreams And they just don't stop Well a big man, big shot Make her on top Well, there's a place for you if you're just like me Armchair greens chillin' at the TV Have another cool one But it won't hurt Got myself a big stick Swingin in the dirt Repeat chorus