Crabs, scabies, the glamour, the fashion Life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me Farts, feet, the romance, the passion Life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me Too many people bitch and whine About being on the road too much of the time Yeah, being on tour does take its toll But it's way better than sitting at home Alright now It's a flat tire Alkies, addicts, the vomit, the rat piss Life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me So squat it and thrust it 'cause you are in Russia Life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me Bring it on right now about getting no sleep On the dirty floor of the broken van Yeah, life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool As a matter of fact, it's very very cool Yeah, life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me