What happens when the pitcher's gotta go And everyone's expecting him to make a throw? He can't just let a little gas out on the mound 'Cause too much might come out and then his pants would turn brown Then everyone would know that the pitcher had to go And that he went That's why, you see, sometimes in a game A pitcher's dominatin', then you see somethin' change Lots of wild pitchers, lots of hit batters Lettin' the poop come out becomes the only thing that matters The manager comes out, the pitcher hands him the ball And then he run, run, runs to the nearest toilet stall I find it surprising in the world of sports That we've never seen a player just a-soilin' his shorts With so many cameras on the field You'd think one time that would be revealed But I guess they're pros and they just know How to squeeze their cheeks until they're done with the show