My doctor wants a stool sample I hate that nerd He gave me a popsicle stick to scoop out my next turd He's a trustworthy man, or so I've heard And I guess I'm gonna have to take his word But I get the feeling every once in a while That torturing people really makes him smile And whenever his mood starts to droop He tells a patient "pal, I'm gonna need a scoop of your poop" Scoop of your poop I need a scoop of your poop Stool sample He needs a stool sample And then he sits back and laughs with all the other doctors and nurses While his patients heels before the toilet and curses It's not right that one man can have such power And after I collect this power I'm gonna have to go home and take a shower I need a shower I'm gonna have to take a shower I need a shower I need a shower I need a shower now