A fine romance, with no kisses. A fine romance, my friend, this is. We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes. But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes. A fine romance, you won't nestle. A fine romance, you won't wrestle. I've never mussed a crease in your blue serge pants. I never had the chance. This is a fine romance. A fine romance, my good fellow. You take romance. I'll take Jell-o. You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean. At least they flap their fins to express emotion. A fine romance, with no quarrels, With no insults, and all the morals. You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France. I never get the chance. This is a fine romance. A fine romance, with no kisses. A fine romance, my friend, this is. True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has. We don't have half the thrills that "The March of Time" has. A fine romance, with no clinches. A fine romance, with no pinches. You never give the orchids I send a glance. No, you like cactus plants. This is a fine romance.