A schooner sat at bay while the crew all ran amok The men they gathered on the pier to see if they were stuck They shouted to the ship "Why are you still here in dock?" 'Cuz the Captain got his knackers caught in the mainsheet block. I've seen old women blush from the tales that sailors told Of bawdy, ribald adventures some new ones and some old Scandalous journeys that they've taken some long and some short But the worst one that I heard of was a ship stuck in port The first mate was in charge of making the ship go But the matey's got a cask of rum and his whore below And the boson was belting out a crass and crude old song It's about a cuckoo's nest but he got the words all wrong I've seen old women blush from the tales that sailors told Of bawdy, ribald adventures some new ones and some old Scandalous journeys that they've taken some long and some short But the worst one that I heard of was a ship stuck in port The cabin boy laughed and said it's time now for some fun And he lights off the powder in the foremast gun The shot it caused a scream below from the first mate's whore Who up and shouted "Chuck it! I'm going off ashore." I've seen old women blush from the tales that sailors told Of bawdy, ribald adventures some new ones and some old Scandalous journeys that they've taken some long and some short But the worst one that I heard of was a ship stuck in port Then the mate came up on deck and said, "We all should go, I know a place where girls are cheap and the rum it freely flows" The crew all asked, "Should we invite the captain, to be nice" "Hell no! He'll stay below with his knackers on some ice!" I've seen old women blush from the tales that sailors told Of bawdy, ribald adventures some new ones and some old Scandalous journeys that they've taken some long and some short But the worst one that I heard of was a ship stuck in port I've seen old women blush from the tales that sailors told Of bawdy, ribald adventures some new ones and some old Scandalous journeys that they've taken some long and some short But the worst one that I heard of was a ship stuck in port