We were your friends, Anton
We said that we would lie
That we would gladly help you
And gladly testify
♪
Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye
Mr. Louis Perch and Mr. Jacob Chicken
Now witnesses for the prosecution
To the stand!
I, Jacob Chicken
And I, Louis Perch
Acknowledge that a Wascher's been defiled
Because I had Claire de Wascher
I shtupped Claire de Wascher
I humped Claire de Wascher
I screwed Claire de Wascher
And either of one of us could be the father of her
Illegitimate child
Because we umph Claire de Wascher
We woofed Claire de Wascher
We woo Claire de Wascher
We pfft Claire de Wascher
And either one of us could be the father of her
Illegitimate child
You recognize these men, Anton Shell?
I never saw them before in my life!
We've changed
We've changed
Do you recognize the defendant?
We're blind
We're blind
By his voice?
By his voice, yes
By his voice
At the trial I was the judge
Chief Justice Courtly
I am Madame Zachanassian's butler now
Mr. Jacob Chicken, Mr. Louis Perch
Was your testimony true?
No
We swore falsely
And why did you swear falsely?
Anton Shell bribed us
He bribed us
With what?
With a bottle of Schnapps
And now, tell the people what happened to you
She tracked us down
And when she found you
What did she do?
She made us what you see