Yeah
I went to a therapist
He's trying to tell me the thoughts that I have in my head are all bad
He told me write down my feelings
And tell him how I feel about them when they're on the pad
I gave an explanation plus an exclamation
At the end just to show him I'm mad
Product of my environment
I don't mean to pass the blame
But Imma pass it to my dad
I don't like to be the math
I don't like to be the stigma
I hate how it feels
I don't like walking inside of a room
And every person looking at me like I'll kill
Ya'll don't know how that feels
To the people that are mental ill
Ya'll don't know
Ya'll don't know what it's like to take pills every night
And my sudden will
Losing control of the thoughts in my head
I lay in the blankets inside of my bed
Wait till the morning when I take my meds
Here let me show you the cycle again
I take about two by nine
Then one by three
Then six to feel anymore
I keep on zoning out all the time
No wonder the teachers think I'm doing poor
The teachers like telling my mother that
I can not concentrate listening
That I am bored
Praying to angels all of the time
Me while my demons just knock at my door
Here they come
Knock, knock are you ready for the violence?
Ready for the silence?
That comes when you walk around
Trying to figure out if, you're misguided
And everything you thought is twisted one-sided
I've been trying to figure out all of the time
What this talking inside my mind is
Am I just crazy?
Why? Why doesn't anything phase me?
Am I just lazy?
For thinking, nothing about everything lately
I'm feeling it often, all of my sadness
Find a way out as aggression
I went to the doctors looking for answers
But I came out with questions
Why do I feel this way?
Why do I feel this shame?
I blame it on trauma
Blame it on dad for not showing the path
Depression I have, I blame it on mama
Blame all the drama my exes has brought
For taking my heart to break it in half
Wish upon karma for everybody
That's looking my way, and wishing me bad
Sleep paralysis, I cannot sleep at night
That's when the demons are at it
Speaking the matter, thinking too deep
I guess it's just part of my habit
Been the example of bad
Psychiatrist is laughing when I ask him
How you gonna give me a psycho-analysis
When you need it more than I am?