At the end of the day
I'm trying to discover who I am
I wanna know who I am
If I could say whatever
I wanted to say
If I could write the songs
I wanted to write
And nobody give a shit
It's just hard to be who you want
Whenever everybody wants you
To be something different
And the feeling of disappointing
Somebody that I love
Just trying to be myself
Is one of the most terrifying
Things that keeps me up at night
I will sit in calls with friends
And just be "jolly happy"
But I am so scared of losing them
I will do anything
To keep people that I love around
Whenever I need to sacrifice
Because that's where I get my own fuel
That's where I get my freedom
That's where I am myself
I don't need to put myself
On the back-burner
Just so I can be closer with other people
That, at any point, can just say
"No"
"I don't- I don't wanna be your friend anymore"
"I don't wanna talk to you"
"I don't wanna hang out with you"
"I don't love you anymore"
And it's terrifying to think about
The fact that people can just leave like that