Well if I had me a woman who is big and fat I'd jump up and down like an alleycat If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around If I had me a woman who is lean and tall I'd lay down with her, crake a big wolf call If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around Well I'd stand on my head 'till I lost my breath Then I'd grab her and I'd squeeze her half to death If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around Now if I had me a woman as skinny as a flea I'd be as happy as a monkey in a tree If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around Now I'd jump up and down and I'd turn a few flips And I'd grab her and I'd kiss her on her pretty sweet lips If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around