Look, Adelaide. You're getting yourself upset.
You and I are gonna be alright. (ACHOO)
After all, we love each other and we're gonna get married.
(I don't believe you anymore.)
But it's true. Aww, you'll feel better tomorrow.
C'mon, cheer up, honey!
Let's see that old smile. (ACHOO)
That's my girl. See ya tomorrow.
It says here: "the average unmarried female,
Basically insecure,
Due to some looooong frustration may react
With psychosomatic symptoms
Difficult to endure,
Affecting the upper respiratory tract."
In other words, just from waiting around
For that plain little band of gold,
A person can develop a cold.
You can spray her wherever you figure the streptococci lurk,
You can give her a shot for whatever she's got,
But it just won't work.
If she's tired of getting the fisheye from the hotel clerk,
A person can develop a cold.
It says here: "the female remaining single,
Just in the legal sense,
Shows a neuroooootic tendency, see note."
Tendency see note?
Oh, see note. Oh, oh here we go...
"Chronic organic syndromes,
Toxic or hypertense,
Involving the eye, the ear, the nose and throat."
In other words,
Just from worrying whether the wedding is on or off
A person can develop a cough.
You can feed her all day with the vitamin A and the Bromo fizz,
But the medicine never gets anywhere near where the trouble is.
If she's getting a kind of a name for herself and the name ain't his,
A person can develop a cough.
And furthermore, just from stalling and stalling and stalling the wedding triiiip
A person can develop la grippe.
When they get on the train for Niagara
And she can hear churchbells chime,
The compartment is air conditioned
And the mooooooood sublime,
Then they get off at Saratoga
FOR THE FOURTEENTH TIIIIME
A person can develop la grippe.
La grippe, la post nasal drip,
With the wheezes and the sneezes
And a sinus that's really a pip.
From a lack of community property
And a feeling she's getting too old,
A person can develop a
BIIIIG BAAAAD COOOOOOLD (ACHOO!)