Don't ever try to cross an Englishman
Or an Englishman will be terribly cross with you
You can scoff at any Scot
Call an Irishman a sot
But an Englishman's not delighted, even only slightly slighted
He'll go red in the face with perfect grace and promptly put you in your place
As only a member of his race can do (ooh)
Don't ever try to cross an Englishman
Or an Englishman will be terribly cross, quite unbearingly cross
Utterly irreparably cross with you
Frightfully witty stuff isn't it?
Awfully droll wouldn't you say? Yes, rather
Don't ever tease or twit an Englishman
Or he'll get it quite a bit of a snit with you
You may snare at a Samoan
You may jeer at a Genoan
Call a Creteon a Creteon
But never a chap from Eaton
For the British skin is terribly thin, especially when it's full of gin
And that's the state it's usually in its true (ooh)
Don't ever try to cross an Englishman
Or the fellow will get emphatically cross
Really quite dramatically cross
Almost operatically cross with you
He's usually unperturbable, quite undisturbable
A pillar of equanimity and calm
He's really the sort of chap who never gets in a flap
An easy-going bloke him, but if you should provoke him
It's all hands on deck and sound the alarm
Ordinarily quite taciturn, a person of a placid turn
A scene of something he simply can't abide
Because of aides and heirs, se voir and San Juan Fair
But if you start to heckle, then the flushing of his neck'll
Show he's turning straight from Jekyll into Hyde
So don't try any malarkey with an Englishman
Or an Englishman will get snarky sir, with you
It's ok to have a go at any Serbian or Croat
But an Englishman you irk, he will likely go berserk
Though it's very unwise to make a crack to a fellow who flies the Union Jack
No surprise if you're beaten black and blue (ooh)
Don't ever dare to cross an Englishman
Or the fellow will get drastically cross, enthusiastically cross
Quite fantastically cross, orgiastically cross
The fellow will get sarcastically cross, bombastically cross
Gymnastically cross
For when affronted, Britannia waves the rules
Don't let an Englishman ever be terribly cross with you