I can make anybody pretty I can make you believe any lie I can make you pick a fight With somebody twice your size Well I've been known to cause a few breakups And I've been known to cause a few births I can make you new friends Or get you fired from work And since the day I left Milwaukee Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France Been makin' the bars lots of big money And helpin' white people dance I got you in trouble in high school But college now that was a ball You had some of the best times You'll never remember with me Alcohol, alcohol I got blamed at your wedding reception For your best man's embarrassing speech And also for those naked pictures of you at the beach I've influenced kings and world leaders I helped Hemingway write like he did And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you Put that lampshade on your head 'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France Been makin' a fool out of folks just like you And helpin' white people dance I am medicine and I am poison I can help you up or make you fall You had some of the best times You'll never remember with me Alcohol, alcohol Yes since the day I left Milwaukee Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France Been makin' the bars lots of big money And helpin' white people dance Yea I got you in trouble in high school And college now that was a ball You had some of the best times You'll never remember with me Alcohol, alcohol (Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol...)