--Christian Rock-- I woke up in the morning, And I got myself some oatmeal, And I put some raisins on it and, Christ is God, Christ is God, God, God, God... --Jewish Rock-- I woke up in the morning, And I got myself some lox and bagels, And I put some cream cheese on them and, Christ isn't God, He's just not God, He's a really nice guy but don't get carried away... --Atheist Rock-- I woke up in the morning, And I got myself a whole box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, 'Cause I just don't care anymore, And there is no God, Sorry about that, Your Grandma's in the ground and her soul's stayin' there... --Agnostic Rock-- I woke up in the morning, And I got myself some organic wheat puffs, And I put some soy milk on them and, There might be a God, There's really no way to know, He might be a fish or he might be a spoon... All I wanted was a song about oatmeal.