I, uh, I am getting tired of traveling a little bit
Because like, you know you have to fly when you're coming out to the
West Coast and big airlines now will mess
With-mess with you in so many different ways
Like, sometimes they'll try and pawn
You off on their little junior airline
Like, I almost got on a United flight and
The pilot got on the loudspeaker and he was like
"Today's United flight is being operated by our junior airline, Ted"
Who the fuck is Ted?
I went to high school with a guy named Ted and it better not be him
Because he is addicted to Oxycontin
So I don't like big airlines, no one does
Guess who I also don't like, small airlines
Very scary the small airline you know
I wa-a couple months ago got to fly
Out of a tiny airport in Quincy, Illinois
Jealous?
And I got on a twenty person plane
Now you think that you would trust a
Small plane more because it weighs less
And flying is a war against gravity
But I got on this plane and I was like "holy shit,
If this things crashes, it won't even be on the news"
Or it will be but real quick
Just like "oh, and a small plane crashed today, obviously"