Greetings, Savannah infidels!
(Cheers and applause)
So, uh Achmed, why are you dressed like this?
(Gasps) You told me to dress like the scariest thing I could think of.
What are you? I am a woman!
(Laughter)
Just a woman?
Worse. An American Women.
(Laughter and cheering)
Ha, ha! Silence?! Impossible
(Laughter)
What's so scary about an American woman?
(Gasps) They can vote.
(Laughter and applause)
Yeah, and they can can drive.
Not the Asian ones.
(Laughter)
That is incredibly racist.
Yet factually correct.
(Laughter)
How do you know? I learned it from Cosmo.
Cosmo.
I took the quiz. The quiz?
Yes, the quiz, "Are you a racist bitch?"
I see. And guess what?
What? Ta da!
(Laughter and applause)
So what else scares you the most about American Woman?
Besides everything?
The money. The money.
You marry an American Women,
And in no time... All your money for bombs is gone.
(Laughter)
She blows money on shoes, I have no money to blow up the Jews.
(Laughter and applause)
What?!
I don't mean just the Jews. But rhymed, shoes and Jews.
I could have said, you know, slacks and blacks.
(Laughter)
But Jews is funnier. And I like black folks
Oh, we White Chicks love the black guys
(Laughter and applause)
I think the expression is once you go black.
You never go back to white guys or
Medium to small animals. something like that.
(Laughter and applause)
Hey, I see you looking at me. (Laughter)
What do you think?
Um, nice hair.
(Gasps) Oh, yes, and I promise you, the drapes match the carpet
(Laughter) What? I was talking about my beard, you idiots!
I don't have carpet carpet.