Ladies and Gentlemen
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future
Sunscreen would be it
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis
More reliable than my own meandering experience
I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth
Oh nevermind
You will not understand the power and
Beauty of your youth until they have faded
But trust me
In 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a
Way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay
Before you and how fabulous you really looked
You're not as fat as you Imagine
Don't worry about the future
Or worry
But know that worrying is as effective as trying
To solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be
Things that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours
Floss
Don't waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you're ahead
Sometimes You're behind
The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself
Remember the compliments you receive
Forget the insults
If you Succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters
Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don't feel guilty if you don't know
What you want to do with your Life
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll divorce at 40,
Maybe you'll dance the funky
Chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do
Don't Congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's
Enjoy your body
Use it every way you can
Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own
Dance
Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
Get to know your parents
You never know when they'll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings
They are the best link to your past and the
People most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go,
But for the precious few you should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in Geography and lifestyle because the
Older you get
The more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths
Prices will rise, politicians will Philander
You too will get old
And when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were
Reasonable
Politicians were noble and children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Don't expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund
Maybe you have a wealthy spouse
But you never know when either one might run out
Don't mess too much with your hair
Or by the time you're 40, it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy,
But, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal
Wiping it off
Painting over the ugly parts and
Recycling it for more than it's worth
But trust me on the sunscreen