A rich man drinks only whiskey, a poor man drinks only wine A middle class man drinks when he can But a wise man drinks all of the time. And a rich lady drinks only sherry at her bridge parties every night The players are drunk but remain polite They don't care who's won 'cause they're all too tight. And there's really no other way And the magistrate is drinking his lunch when the thief has been found guilty and fined And the congregation is leaving church When the vicar is pissed on the sacramental wine. 'Cause there's really no other way. So if you ever stop to think why this world's so insecure It's all because some politicians Or smoke marijuana in public places But most of all it's because they take a drink. Because, there's really no other way There's really no other way.