There'll be no show tonight and no, no The music won't sound right The audience is being impolite And I can't act tonight, don't make me And I can't act tonight I guess I missed my cue When he said we were through He walked up the stage with some ingenue And all I can act is blue, I really mean it No, no stand in will do Take back your Oscar Your horseshoe made of flowers You'll find me down at the local pool hall Tying up the phone for hours Who could have guessed how He'd rewrite the script for me I might be Sarah Heartburn But I can't cover up this jealousy And I can't cover up this jealousy Let me fly again soon And give back my toy balloon He's got me grounded in my dressing room Well that man's got me grounded in my dressing room There'll be no show tonight, no, no The music won't sound right The audience is being impolite And I can't act tonight, don't make me yeah I can't act tonight, and I can't act I can't be Sarah Heartburn I can't be Sarah Heartburn No, no, no, oh