I expand
And the son of God bequeathed upon us
Sin and anguish
Divine line that crosses everything
Each atom anguishes
It cannot grasp what he is
Here is the trouble of being born
Thus, I have the privilege of eternity
Everything in my hand is vain
As futile as mascara dripping
From the eyelids of a foul courtesan
I'm done with my solipsistic wanderings
Freed from the demons of a girl's laugh
I face news energies
A transubstantiation is offered to me
I'm no longer afraid
And I dive into the immensity of the empty God
Is it boredom?
Is it despair?
Is it pride?
Or illumination?
But I desire a luminous path
I deny the selfish star to grab His hand
To grab His hand
I expand
Climacus
Anti-Climacus
Silentio
Constantius
Haufniensis
I sense an unknown shape crawling towards me
Fear
The contrasts increase, the lines become curved
The space stretches into new dimensions
Where the fuck am I?
Where is the pleasure?
Where is the night?
Where is the pleasure?
Where is the beauty that kept me alive and proud?
Where is the I?
Where am I?
Where is the night?
It feels like I'm going to get lost
In this labyrinth of possibilities
Chains connect me to others
It's heavy, it's suffocating
Am I really arising?
The child finally grew up
His gaze is no longer naïve
Something distressed radiates from his being
He is now facing judgment
I expand
What did you expect?
An ocean of endless desire?
Thousands of luxurious virgins?
A never-ending celebration of the senses?
Without any decline of excitement?
Without any sign of exhaustion?
Did you really believe this?
Did you really believe this?
I always lived with suicide in my buttonhole
My old self is now a diffuse memory
I bend the knee in front of the empty God