You climb down the mountains and place the flag in the base camp The town's dignitaries are all alcoholic tramps The poor live in penthouses and the rich they live in slums Poor children grade-A students and the rich delinquent bums Cat burglars leave money in your home Ring for an appointment when they visit your home The whores they give you money when with them you have sex The rapists ask permission and which position is best The National Galleries are now all filled with fakes Original old masters can be bought at garden fetes The best writers and artists always win the prize The doctors battle hard to stop you from being alive At your birth everybody breaks down and cries At your funeral they cheer when you have died The sky is blue and sunny, you feel down When it's grim and grey you're as happy as a clown The world is upside-down