I've got something on you, boy I've got something on you Whatever the good or the bad that you do I've got something on you Parsons and lawyers and whorehouse employers Oh, I've got something on you Nuns and policemen and pie makers too You'll be sure I've got something on you Everybody sins sometimes God claims his price and I claim mine And as far as I know, knowledge isn't a crime And I've got something on you Every fine entrepreneur will inform you That truth's a hard burden to bear The more the deliciously scandalous morsels The harder it is not to share Slander sticks to me like flies Sad little secrets bide But for a small consideration I'll silence those lies Till then, you know what to do Charlie, my pet, should you chance to forget it I've sure got something on you And Billy, my son, there's no place you can run Where I won't have something on you too You can run and you can hide I'm not fast, but I'm single-minded And I will persist and consistently find That I've got something on you