It's the end of the month I gotta pay the rent I wish I was the president It's the end of the month and all my money is spent I wish I was the president I'd have a big white house with a yard and a fence So I could keep all the terrorists out I'd be the king of the world I would lie and deny And get high with little honor role girls (Resist drugs and violence) I wish I was the president (I promise to do the best job I can; Bullshit!) I wish I was the president It's the end of the month and what a year so far I wish I was the president Every end of the month I'd buy a brand new car And drive it straight to the strip bar Where I'd be drinkin' for free And have a bunch of naked bitches yellin' fuck the police with me Snortin' shit up my nose With the flag in my hand here my national anthem goes I'd make every day a holiday I wish I was the president A mandatory raise for the underpaid I wish I was the president It's the end of the month another one down the drain I wish I was the president I'd have a boat and a maid and my own jet plane And I would still complain I'd do whatever I please I'd take a trip around the world dropping bombs on our enemies I'd smoke the dopest cigars drive a muscle car And fuck eleven different porno stars I'd live a hell of a life I would never pay taxes And I'd barely have to see my wife I'd make every day a holiday I wish I was the president A mandatory raise for the underpaid I wish I was the president I'd make every day a holiday I wish I was the president A mandatory raise for the underpaid I wish I was the president Stop your whining 'cause your bitchin' nagging's killing me Stop your crying 'cause you're driving me crazy Goddammit do you have to complain Don't you think I'm sick and tired of the same ole same ole The same ole, the same ole The same ole, same old thing The same ole, the same ole The same ole everything The same ole, the same ole The same ole, nothing's changed The same ole, the same ole The same ole fucking thing Well now, I guess it's time to go to work And look my miserable fuck head boss in his fucking face Maybe I'll just call in sick today Lay around, get stoned, watch porno Aww, fuck it I'd make every day a holiday I wish I was the president A mandatory raise for the underpaid I wish I was the president I'd make every day a holiday I wish I was the president A mandatory raise for the underpaid I wish I was the president I wish I was the president (I promise to do the best job I can; Bullshit!) I wish I was the president