Well, when I was kid, I'd take a trip
Every summer, down to Mississipp'
To visit my granny in her antebellum world
I'd run barefooted all day long
Climbing trees, free as a song
One day I happened catch myself a squirrel (a squirrel)
Well, I stuffed him down in an old shoebox
And punched a couple holes in the top
And when Sunday came, I snuck him into church
I was sittin' way back in the very last pew
Showin' him to my good buddy, Hugh
When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk (totally nuts)
What happened next is hard to tell
Some thought it was Heaven, others thought it was Hell
But the fact that something was among us was plain to see (plain to see)
As the choir sang "I Surrender All"
The squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls
Harv leaped to his feet and said "Somethin's got a hold on me. Yeow!"
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula)
It was a fight for survival
That broke out in revival
They were jumpin pews and shouting Hallelujah (Hallelujah)
Well, Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'
Some thought he had religion, others thought he had a demon
And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his Fruit-Of-The-Looms
He fell to his knees to plead and beg
And that squirrel ran out of his britches leg
Unobserved, to the other side of the room
All the way down to the amen pew
Where sat Sister Bertha Better-than-you
Who'd been watchin' all the commotion with sadistic glee
Well, you should've seen the look in her eyes
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs
She jumped to her feet and said "Lord, have mercy on me" (Lord, Almighty)
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress
She began to cry and then to confess
To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame (there once was a sailor filled with shame)
She told of gossip and church dissension but the thing that got the most attention
Was when she talked about her love life
And then she started naming names!
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula)
It was a fight for survival
That broke out in revival
They were jumping pews and shouting Hallelujah (Hallelujah)
Well, seven deacons and the pastor got saved
And twenty-five thousand dollars got raised
And fifty volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot
And even without an invitation
There were at least five hundred rededications
And we all got re-baptized whether we needed it or not
Now, you've heard the Bible stories I guess
Of how He parted the water for Moses to pass
All the miracles God has brought to this ol' world
But the one I'll remember to my dyin' day
Is how he put that church back on the narrow way
With a half-crazed Mississippi squirrel
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula)
It was a fight for survival
That broke out in revival
They were jumping pews and shouting Hallelujah (Hallelujah)
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula)
It was a fight for survival
That broke out in revival
They were jumping pews and shoutin' Hallelujah (Hallelujah)
They were jumping pews and shoutin' Hallelujah (Hallelujah)