If some of my friends could be monkeys They would have four hands and understand me I wish my girlfriend was a monkey With her four hands she would grab me at night I would have her on a leash climbing up the trees And she could steal a lot of things for me I showed her to some kids at night They would pet her head to make her feel fine My best friend used to be a monkey And now he's a Neanderthal He makes 4.50 and hour at the local mall And I feel bad for him Because we used to be best friends And now he's gotta wear that stupid hat And it fucks with his pride Monkey-brain soup At a monkey-brain party Monkey-man suit At a monkey-man party Lyrics They are just like us but a little bit feeble They are just like us but a little bit fecal Monkeys are cool and sweet And they make a good pet-name for someone you love