Spooks and trolls are just a myth So says my psychiatrist Ghosts and goblins don't exist He keeps telling me. Boo! The ghosts I see are always sad BooHoo! Everybody thinks I'm mad Tonight we're sure there'll be no sleep for you As long as we keep saying, BOO! Ghosts drop in to say hello Through the walls they come and go Here comes my old mate Banquo It's freezing on the heath (It's very parky) Boo! The ghosts I see are always sad Boo! Everybody thinks he's mad Tonight we're sure there'll be no sleep for you As long as we keep saying, BOO! Why can't I ever dream of nice things Very cheeky sticky sugar nice things Kenny Everett dancing in an orchard Pooh and Piglet strangling a mole Ghost like dressing up in sheets And wandering around the streets They wait until you're half asleep And then they wake you up! Boo! The ghosts I see are always sad Boo! Everybody thinks he's mad Tonight we're introducing Hamlet's Dad With half a pint of poison in his ear