In Chicago where I live, there's a
There's an outfit that'd tow almost anything off the street
But they deal mostly with automobiles
And we call 'em the Lincoln Park Pirates
The street lamps are on in Chicago tonight
And lovers are gazin' at stars, the stores are all closin'
And Daley is dozin' and the fat man is counting the cars
"And there's more cars than places to put 'em," he said
"But I got room for them all, so round 'em up, boys
'Cause I want some more toys, hit the lot by the grocery store"
To me, way, hey, tow 'em away
The Lincoln Park Pirates are we; from Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy and we always collect our fee
To me, way, hey, tow 'em away, we plunder the streets of your town
Be it, Edsel or Chevy, there's no car too heavy
And no one can make us shut down
We break into cars when we gotta
With pickaxe and hammer and saw
And they said this garage had no license
But little care I for the law
All my drivers are friendly and courteous
Their good manners you'll always will get
'Cause they all are recent graduates of the charm school in Joliet
To me, way, hey, tow 'em away
The Lincoln Park Pirates are we; from Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy and we always collect our fee
To me, way, hey, tow 'em away, we plunder the streets of your town
Be it, Edsel or Chevy, there's no car too heavy
And no one can make us shut down
And when all the cars are collected
And all of their fenders are ruined
Then I'll tow every boat in Belmont Harbor to the Lincoln Park Lagoon
And when I've collected the ransom
And sunk all the ones that won't yield
Then I'll tow all the planes that are blocking the runways
At Midway, O'hare and Meigs Field
To me, way, hey, tow 'em away
The Lincoln Park Pirates are we; from Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy and we always collect our fee
To me, way, hey, tow 'em away, now citizens gather around
And I think it's enough, and let's call his bluff
Let's tow the bum out of town