Do you remember the day that if you said that you were gay,
It meant with joy, you could sing and shout?
A fairy was enchanting, and dressing up and camping,
Was something you did with the scouts.
That caee age when an urgent case of aids,
Was powdered milk we sent to the Sahara.
A fruit was something nice to eat, a poof was something for your feet,
And a queen was an old tart in a tiara.
Ah, look what we've done to the old mother tongue,
It's a crime the way we've misused it.
It's been totally diswoggled, crumbed, and blonged and golly-woggled,
And we've strangled, fangled, mangled and abused it.
Ah, those far off times when a bong meant a chime,
And a buzz was a noise insecticidal,
A joint was something between bones, and getting really stoned,
Only happened to bad people in the Bible.
When if you had a bad trip, it meant you fell and broke your hip,
Cold turkey just meant Christmas at Aunt Dottie's
Coke was something that you burned, smack was something that you earned,
From your mumzie wumzie when you had been naughty.
Ah, look what we've done to the old mother tongue,
It's a crime the way we've misused it.
It's been totally diswoggled, crumbed, and blonged and golly-woggled,
And we've strangled, fangled, mangled and abused it.
The years have gone I'm afraid, when only eggs got laid,
And only the rhinoceros got horny.
Only kangaroos jumped, and only camels humped,
Getting stuffed meant a little taxidermy.
Swinging was for trapezes, or Tarzan's chimpanzees
Tossing off was something Scotland did with cabers.
Now it means something quite obscene,
And heavy ugly scene is any movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Ah, look what we've done to the old mother tongue,
It's a crime the way we've misused it.
It's been totally diswoggled, crumbed, and blonged and golly-woggled,
And we've strangled, fangled, mangled and abused it.
Ah, look what we've done to the old mother tongue,
It's a crime the way we've misused it.
It's been totally diswoggled, crumbed, and blonged and golly-woggled,
And we've strangled, fangled, mangled and abused it.
They're only words, and words are what we use,
When we got sod all to say. (cosumel)