I got a thing
Got a new thing
To make the closing bell ring
If you can find me a loophole
Now I'm just doing what needs to be done
To keep us in the big chair
So check out the bang bang theory
The bang bang theory
Which says: the more guns there are
The safer it is to walk the streets (the safer it is)
And I don't know no red-blooded white man
Who don't wanna walk that walk (the safer it is)
We don't need no stetsons or boot-cut jeans
'Cause we'll be giving away handguns to all the tots and teens
That's the bang bang theory (it's good Mr. President)
In a nutshell (so good Mr. President)
The bang bang theory (good Mr. President)
In a full metal jacket (so good)
I been busy on the Batphone
Ordering a headstone
To bury America's poor
And drag Robert E Lee
Into the 21st century because...
We're gonna make it mandatory to own a shotgun
Or maybe four
'Cause we're about cutting through all the bullshit
That's what bang bang bangs are for
Have we gone too far? (No Mr. President)
Or not far enough? (No Mr. President)
Have we gone too far? (No Mr. President)
Or not far enough? (I don't know Mr. President)
Have we gone too far? (No Mr. President)
Or not far enough? (No Mr. President)
Have we gone too far? (I don't know)
It's people who kill people (people)
It's people who kill people (people)
It's people who kill people
Not guns!
How you gonna get the country
On your side?
Oh television
You need to get the country
On your side
I got a great new show
It's kinda like the Apprentice
It offers folks the chance to plan a massacre
And pitch it to a panel of cops and spooks
And a rehabilitated terrorist group
And the winner gets a chance to shoot the show
Under controlled conditions (bang bang)
Using volunteer targets who were killing themselves anyway (bang bang)
(Oh my God) Are you praying?
(Oh my God) To me?
The cost of making this must be low
But the body count must be high (agreed)
And there has to be some kind of moral victory
And merchandise to buy (agreed)
(It's gotta make commercial sense)
(It's gotta make commercial sense) keep talkin'
(But it's got to have a heart too)
(And I'm damned if I can see the heart)
(Mr. President please)
(Listen to yourself)
Oh I do
And you should too
And leave your bleeding hearts at home
'Cause if I can't get a wall
I want a Mexican wave
Lined up in the bang bang zone
I want outrage (outrage)
And rampage (rampage)
And American hearts pumping like a twelve gauge
You better hold the front page
For the bang bang theory (it's good Mr. President)
In a nutshell (so good Mr. President)
It's the bang bang theory (it's good Mr. President)
In detail (so good Mr. President)
The bang bang theory (it's good Mr. President)
I want his head on a plate (good Mr. President)
The bang bang theory (good Mr. President)
And mine on Rushmore (oh God)