When one sits in one area of the fortress, they neglect the rest
When one chooses to explore only parts
Their fear influences their perception
And distorts what objectively is in the fortress
When one detaches from the fortress altogether
Their exploration becomes unhindered
Like the flight of an eagle, and they stay in constant motion until it is safe
I thought they were the problem
But I am the problem
I called them selfish
Cuz I couldn't be honest
Blame them for my feelings
But I am the problem
I am the names
And the words that I call them
I am my hero
But I am the problems
How can I save me
If I cannot solve them
How can I save them
If I cannot save me
I am the problem
I talk too much
I regurgitate
The big terms I hear the wiser say
In their debates
I think too much
I start to panic
I think of my past and equate it
To what hasn't happened
I lack self control
I lack empathy
I think I used to have it
But then I took pride in it
Now I think it's just attachment
Delusions, bad habits
I suffer from attachment
Confusion and rationalization
I suffer from attachment
I lack being in all aspects
Disregarding introspection
Made confessions but it only
Brought me closer to depression
I suffer from attachment
I create the narrative
I am perspective, I make it up
I call you names, I build me up
I feel no shame
I direct the plot, control the shot
And the cut the track, and play it back
And press rewind, distort the facts
I suffer from attachment
I've made this journey before
But with the wrong intentions
I got stuck at the door
I lacked awareness
Craved pleasure
Thought that people would
See me as special
So transcendence was off the table
And I got stuck trying to label
Every thought, move, direction
Without any introspection
So I entered into delusion
Which brought existential depression
So I leaned back, indulged in petty shit
Claimed I was a leader, I was selfish
I see that now
But here I am
Read the words of many things
Started to feel a different way
And started to come around to things
And started holding down some things
Practising
Journaling and processing
Observation helped me form a form of self
Worth finishing
I saw how I saw things just last year
Last month
I'll tell you between that time
I wasn't growing that much
But lately it's as if I'm truly open
No more fear of losing touch
Because the touch is everything
That I feel building up
I just have to be honest
And in myself I'll trust